The Diet (Another Update)

Ok so as of yesterday, I had lost 3 pounds in 3 days! Wow! But tonight, everything started getting to me and I just wasnt happy....all I could think about was the diet....every second of every day it was looking at the clock to see when I could eat again and then when I did eat, I wasnt enjoying what I was eating....ugh. Im so unhappy with the way I look, but yet I cant be happy when Im dieting....is there a way to get around this???

The Diet (Update)

"Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels"

I keep telling myself that. Today has been pretty easy sticking to my diet....until I got home tonight and there were cookies and ALL kinds of sweet things laying around to tempt me....but I was good! And today alone I have already lost almost an entire pound! Since I weighed in this morning!!! Now THATS some motivation for me!!!!

Yay for Day 1!!!!

The Diet

Ok so a little background....about 2 1/2 years ago, between my ex-husband being a dick and my great-grandmother (who practically raised me) dying, my anxiety was thru the roof!! So my doctor put me on Lexapro. Now, I have to admit, that Lexapro definitely helped me with my anxiety...it was completely gone! I was on it for about 10 months. But, in the 10 months, I managed to gain 70 POUNDS! Yes, 70 POUNDS! UGH!

My mother plans on taking me and my fiance and my two little girls to Disney World the week of Thanksgiving this year. (Im so excited!! I have never been!!!) But I dont want to go to Disney and totally embarrass myself or miss out on any of the rides I am SOOO looking forward to by not being able to FIT into the rides!!!

Starting tomorrow, my goal is to lose 40 pounds between now and the week of Thanksgiving (when we go to Disney). I think it is realistic....its an average of about 1 1/2 to 2 pounds a week. I once went on weight watchers and lost about 30 pounds, then gained that plus 40 pounds back once I went on Lexapro. I know I can lose the weight, its just the motivation to get started thats the hardest.

So, I will start my weight loss journey tomorrow...and hope that it gets off to a great start because thats all I need!!!

BEFORE THE WEIGHT GAIN

NOW (MY NEW BEFORE PICTURE)

Thats me with my wonderful fiance...isnt it CRAZY what a little stress can do to you??

Anyway, as stated above, this is my new before picture and I hope to change this and start looking better for my trip to Disney and not to mention losing even more weight before my wedding in October 2011!!

The Wedding

Ok, so after almost 5 years together, and being engaged almost just as long, I have finally decided to go through with the wedding.

My marriage to my ex-husband was so horrible that I wouldnt wish it on anyone and vowed to myself that I would NEVER marry again!! Then I met my fiance. And he was everything I had ever hoped for. But I still would not marry.

He proposed and instead of getting a yes or no like the usual bride to be would give, I sat down with him and had a long talk. Explained everything there was to explain about my ex-husband and our marriage (of course, he would be there for a lot of the aftermath) and told him that I would be willing to wear his ring and say that we were engaged, if he would be willing to wait for the wedding, as it may be a long time before I decide to actually go through with it. (Now I realize that I could have been taking a very huge risk here, and that a lot of men would usually say screw you and then just be gone). But, being the good man that he is, he said that he understood.

So now we have set a date. October 22, 2011. And to my surprise, I am very excited about it! I have been doing nothing but trying to plan this wedding and it is over a year away! The dress, the venue, the reception, the decorations, the cake, the music.....Ive already thought about all of it!!! Is that crazy??? For someone who 5 years ago swore off marriage for the rest of her life is now planning a wedding and is actually happy and excited about it??? Or is it just finally ok to move on and be happy and start a new chapter??

The Beginning

So I've never even attempted a blog before, but I usually write in a journal to get away from the usual craziness of my life....its kind of a way to vent for me. So, instead of running through pages and pages of endless notebooks, I figured a blog would be easier (and probably cheaper).

So just a little bit about me to begin with, so that people will know what I'm talking about when I'm rambling on. I was born in a little town near the Outer Banks North Carolina and all of my family is still there. My mom and dad both were in the Coast Guard, so we have moved all over the US following their careers. I went to 11 different schools in my school years, but I am glad I got the opportunity to travel instead of staying in that small town. Eventually, my parents got divorced, which caused even more traveling.

I graduated from high school in 2003 and decided to take a year off of school before going back. During that year, I got married and had a little girl, so I didnt go back to school right away. Then after a year and a half of a horrible marriage, I left. Then spent the next 5 years (still to this day) battling with my ex-husband over him trying to get custody of our daughter (more on that later). It's been a very hard road, but during all of this, I met the man of my dreams and he is currently my fiance (though, I have said many times, because of my previous one, that I would never marry again) and we also have a daughter together. He has helped me through these rough times and I love him so much for it.

We bought a house not too long ago and both have careers that we love and two beautiful little girls! It cant get much better than this! Though, I still feel the need for an outlet sometimes. So, I will probably be blogging about a bunch of random things, hope thats ok!